(Part 1 of a 3 part series)

As part of my journey out of fear, the following question was key for me.

What is identity? We all strive for identity. The questions are many. Who am I? What’s my purpose? How do I get to fulfilling that purpose?

Figuring out my identity has been a life long journey. It seems that the past 5 years the Lord has been showing me what identity truly is and what it looks like to walk in it.

The question “who are you?” is one everyone answers differently. My first response is typically- I’m a physical therapist, or I’m a mom, or I’m a wife, but none of these speak to my true “identity”. The above responses are about what I “do” not who I “am”. This challenge to answer the question “who are you” came through a study by Neil Anderson called “The Victory Over the Darkness” (highly recommend it).

The definition of identity from dictionary app is 1) “the state or fact of remaining the same one or ones, as under varying aspects or conditions” 2) “the condition or character as to who a person or what a thing is; the qualities, beliefs, act., that distinguish or identify a person or thing”.

What is it about knowing one’s identity that’s such an important matter and shaping force in our lives? I think it is because knowing ones’ identity gives on a sense of belonging or inclusion. I believe we all desire to be known and loved. I believe that is from the Lord Himself. He desires us to know Him and He us. It gives one a sense of completeness, value and peace…..at least that is what I am realizing through this journey called life.

Identity seems to be more shaped by culture and one’s acceptance or inclusion based on whatever each individual deems valuable or important. Things such as job title, being a mom or dad, being a sister or brother, being a grandmother or grandfather, or based on sexual orientation or gender, based on religious denomination, based on rank or accomplishments/awards. But what happens when any of the above changes-one looses a job or changes a job, one loses a child, sibling or parent, one changes sexual orientation beliefs, or is no longer the “champion” because a new champion has taken his or her place?

So is identity meant to be fluid and dynamic or static and unchanging? What’s the difference in identity and character? Character as defined by the dictionary app is 1) “the aggregate of features and traits that form the individual nature of some person or thing; 2) qualities of honesty, courage or the like: integrity” (more on integrity in a future blog!)

I believe identity is meant to be found in who God says you are and how He sees you. It’s taken me a while to grasp this and He is still showing me how to operate in this versus finding my identity and worth through what culture, people or the changing times says. It is not based on anything I do or say, it is simply based on how God sees me. Since He sees me through the blood sacrifice of Jesus , I am pure and unblemished and deeply loved by Him. I have struggled in the past and still struggle some-(remember I am a work in progress)- with allowing my worth and how I see myself to be affected by how others see me and or by what/how culture says I’m supposed to be or act in order to “fit in”. Once again, there’s the desire for acceptance-acceptance from the world/others verses knowing and staying grounded in and operating in who the Lord says I am and trusting His unconditional and unending love.

If love and acceptance is based on culture and those around us, it can be seen as conditional and based on circumstances, situations, feelings, emotions, being included in a specific group or subset of people who view things as you do (at least for that moment in time). Love will change and may be conditional, temporary, and/or opportunistic. This type of love will leave one still searching, empty, void, fickle and striving. Striving to find something or be something you already have and already are in the eyes of God Almighty.

God is love. His love is unchanging, intimate, unconditional, (no striving needed-only receiving), fulfilling, life giving, hope fulfilled, adventurous, and always good and fruitful. His love heals the brokenhearted, restores all things, uplifts those hurting, protects and wars for us. His love knows no depth-it is so big it is indescribable and often our human minds are unable to comprehend. The world/culture and our human nature tend to make it hard to grasp or even sometimes believe that this type of love exists or can be real.

So when we walk in the identity of His design and His love as His sons/daughters and receive His love foregoing all shame and condemnation, there is a freedom and peace that comes with that!! A sense of being vs striving. A sense of rest vs effort. That’s not to say we don’t have an active part to play in allowing His love to change and apprehend us- we do. We have to open our hearts to fully surrender to Him, His love and His ways. So often we- myself included- can view His ways as keeping something from us, but that’s so far from the truth. His ways are meant to produce the BEST life for you and me. Often in life we settle ( I know I have done this) because if you are like me, we can be creatures of habit and change can be hard. The Lord is showing me that change isn’t meant to deprive me of something, but rather to exchange it for something better!!! This requires trust- trusting God is good and loves me and would not do anything to hurt me. He may challenge me and grow me, but not hurt me. Often my trust which has been misguided to be a trust in myself, culture, things, people, etc., to provide for me things, desires, etc that only the Lord can. I don’t think I’m the only one that struggles in this area and the Lord has brought me a long way in this journey for which I am very grateful. He’s shown me it’s not His design for me to expect or place expectations on others, things, or culture to fulfill what only He can fulfill. Placing my expectations in those things or on others, often leads to hurt, increased pressure on others and poor relationships. I’ve found it also results in an ongoing unfulfilled longing and emptiness. It has kept me from being able to show the love of Christ as He intended(unconditionally). I’ve found when I am expecting of others there is not a freedom, peace and joy to love unconditionally.

He’s shown me that placing my identity in Him and trusting that I am who He says I am and that He has a purpose for my life that only I can fulfill, has brought me freedom and peace. I pray that if you don’t know Him you will be intentional in exploring who He is…not based on what any human may do or say(as we are all a flawed picture of Him) but read His word and talk to Him. He will reveal Himself. If you do know Him I pray each day you will be intentional to spend time with Him so your relationship with Him will deepen!!! May you grow to know your identity and stand steadfast in it!!!

#identity #unconditionallove #expectations #freedom