CHOICES AND LOVE

(Part 2 of a 3 part series- Choices and Love)

Welcome Back!!! Last week I spoke of knowing my identity and how that brought a sense of peace and freedom in loving unconditionally. Freedom for myself, and freedom for those in my life. Having no judgements or expectations on others helps create deeper and more trusting relationships. Deeper and more trusting relationships are fueled by love and create freedom for me to be who God called me to be, to encourage and build others up, to walk into my God given identity and purpose on this earth. It gives me freedom to make mistakes, to learn and move forward to the next thing in life. I get to take valuable lessons learned from failures and successes of things ventured in life and grow along my journey.

Life is a journey not a destination-I’m sure you’ve heard that before. It’s full of crossroads and choices along the way. Choices we make affect us and others not only in the present, but can also have a profound affect on our future. So, when we make any choice, how do we go about deciding what to do. My first inclination has been to try and analyze the effects or scenarios of each option/choice (lots of web brain browsers open!! lol). I Try to get perspective on current and future effects. The Lord has been showing and teaching me over the past several years that my first line in decision making is to bring whatever it is I’m deciding on- to Him in prayer. I believe since He is a relational God, He wants me to pray and seek His guidance before making a decision. Even in the little things He desires to be involved. Asking for His help in daily appointments with the people He puts across my path is something I’ve more recently been more intentional about lifting up in prayer. Surrendering my plan to His agenda versus strictly following my own (anyone else struggle with wanting to be in control?). I may start with a game plan for the general days events or my “to do list”, but I’m learning to be more intentional in seeing and recognizing those He may be placing in my path that need His light, love, touch, or encouragement. It is typically at a time I would deem “inconvenient”. There have been many times in the past and even some now currently, that I get so focused on what I “needed” to get done that I wouldn’t recognize or I’d choose to ignore His promptings to recognize that He wants to work through me to touch those He either brought to me or put in my path. Forgive me Lord and help me to have your eyes, ears and words to recognize and be obedient to whatever it is you’re calling me too.

I recognize that I can be selfish with “my time”. It’s easy for me to give of my financial resources or help when it’s convenient or easily fits into my schedule. Does anyone else struggle with this? So I have to ask myself why? What truly is my heart posture? Lord has my heart hardened a bit over time in relation to past hurts, regrets, shame, failed expectations I’ve placed upon myself and others? because of the lack of setting boundaries and then holding within me hurt because of not being true to myself or placing blame on others for my decisions?

Has this lead me to believing lies about who God is? Feeling that I only need to rely on me? In a sense shutting out the world in order to “protect” myself-all the while inadvertently locking myself away and closing my heart to God and others? Allowing myself and my decisions to be based more on Fear than love? I read or heard somewhere that we make decisions in life based either out of fear or love. What will you base your decisions on- Love or fear? I choose love…I have done the fear thing and it just isn’t peaceful or productive!!

Fear decisions seem to be based on protecting oneself and one’s best interest. As I look back, they seem to be mostly focused on self and lack of trust. Lack of trust in God, self and others. Fear decisions seem based more on what the repercussion of a decision and how it may negatively affect one if that particular choice is not made. It can be something silly like- if I don’t do this now, I’ll miss out on whatever deal is going on(speaking of shopping) or , if I don’t do this (whatever it may be) , then I won’t fit in or I won’t get ahead, or I’ll miss out.

The Bible speaks of fear as not trusting in the Lord. It says perfect love casts out fear. So the antithesis of fear is love. Fear is a tool of the enemy. It’s also a way for us to know areas in our lives that we are relying on or trusting in self or others versus the Lord.

The sin of self reliance is an area the Lord has been showing me that I am believing a lie about Him-an area He is healing. Thank you Lord! This again circles back to an identity issue!! It’s also based on fear. Fear that if I don’t handle things they won’t get done. Fear based choices for my own self preservation-not having, needing or wanting to rely on anyone-including the Lord at times. Sure I’d trust Him with some of the “little” things and some of the “big ” things, but I wasn’t trusting Him in all things. I’m grateful for how He has grown me in this area and I’m relying more and more on Him for every decision, every day. I have to be intentional to make that choice to trust and rely on Him. He is faithful and touching/healing areas in my life each day and He can do the same for you if you choose to let Him!

So back to choices based on love. What is love? The dictionary app defines love as “a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person; a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child or friend.” the Bible says God is love!! Corinthians 13 is known as the love chapter. If you substitute the name of God for love while reading it, it is powerful in revealing more of God’s character. If you put your own name in for love it may reveal areas you need the Lord to touch to make you more like Christ. We are called to be like Christ and to be the light of Christ for others. This can only be done through the power of God(love) as He transforms our hearts and helps reveal lies we believed. Lies that have moved our choices and affected our lives and the lives of those around us. Choices that typically either build one’s life and the life of others up or tears down our life and the lives of others. What will you choose?

Choices made out of love come from a pure heart that doesn’t have self as focus. By taking each choice and calling on the Lord to reveal , guide and direct us, we are surrendering to His will. Often choices He leads us to may not make sense from a “logical” evaluation. They often involve trusting His leading wherever that may be. Taking that first step without knowing the plan. Trusting choices He’s guiding us to make are meant for good in every sense of furthering His kingdom on Earth and for growing us to be like Christ. Sometimes those choices may involve promoting another above ourselves, or changing our days “agenda” to fit what He’s put before us. I know this is an area I am still growing in, but each time I’m obedient to do as He says, I am blessed abundantly. So why do I struggle to stay in that surrendered state all the time?! Selfishness! Thinking I know better!! The list could go on, but you get the idea!

So the challenge is to know and walk in my identity, fully trusting His way and being intentional in making love based choices instead of fear base ones!! Remember you are an amazing child of God and He loves you unconditionally and desires to have a relationship with you!!!! The choice is yours!! Many blessings to you all!!!