What a crazy ride 2020 was! As I look back from this time last year and reflect on everything, I feel grateful. 2020 was filled with many crazy things for me and most others that I’ve talked too. Starting in February I started to not feel well and I think I visited the doctor more in the first couple of months of 2020 than I had in the past 3 years total! After 2 consecutive weekend trips to the ER, I was diagnosed with an “intusseception” and was in surgery within the next hour. I was told an intusseception was rare in adults and was a situation where my intestine telescoped in on itself. Apparently it warrants emergency surgery. I was amazed how calm and at peace I felt during this whole process. I could sense the Lord’s presence and peace. I was in the hospital for 4 days and was blessed by the visitation of so many friends and family who offered help, encouragement or just came to sit with me as I dozed in/out of sleep. The staff and the surgeon were all so kind and caring. It was weird for me to be on the receiving end of help as I am much more comfortable being on the giving end of things. I had to be intentional about accepting the assistance others offered through visiting, praying and bringing meals to my home. It made my heart so full and I felt so loved by each person. The presence and peace of the Lord through the whole procedure and recovery was indescribable. I left the hospital on a Tuesday and everything shut down due to Covid that Friday. I was very grateful to be at home recovering.

Both the Covid epidemic and the fact of slowly recovering from abdominal surgery forced me to slow down and reflect on many things. I felt like I had been going 100 miles an hour with work and then everything came to an abrupt halt. I’m sure I, like many, started to ponder things in life. I had never thought my identity was so influenced by what I do for a living, but I did have to renew my mind after being out of work after my surgery. I work as a physical therapist and love my job. It brings me such joy to be given the privilege of helping others get back to doing the things they want to do after injury or surgery. After my surgery, I had to remind myself that who I am is a child of God and what I do is physical therapy. My value and worth are based on how God sees me not on what I do. I do believe God gives us each gifts and talents to use for the betterment of the Kingdom, but His love for me is based solely on the fact that I am His child. Not sure if this resonates with anyone else, but knowing and reminding myself of that truth is so freeing.

I did return to work after 6 weeks and at that time my company had us only going in for emergent cases. I took advantage of the time to spend more time taking walks, sitting with the Lord, writing and in a sense rediscovering me. I was forced to slow down and for me it was such a blessing. It revived my creative juices. I started trying to learn the violin(never have played a musical instrument), picked up my camera and started taking pictures again, I started getting interested in plants and gardening, and I started this blog. I felt like I was starting to get a better balance in my life. I was no longer feeling perpetually fatigued and was enjoying the blessings each day had to offer. I no longer felt like I was on a hamster wheel and working for the weekends.

As things opened back up and work got back to full go again I could see my self slowly slipping back to all work and less time for the things I had come to enjoy in life again. Getting walks in during the week was becoming difficult due to long days and feeling exhausted by the time I got home. Less time exploring new creative ventures. December was very challenging from a work stand point but the Lord gave me strength to get through it while still giving me enough energy to pursue some creative ventures. I took a trial pottery wheel class. I have started spending time with my mom making cards and have been making an effort to get some exercise done. I have been more expectant and grateful for how the Lord shows up in each day to encourage me, to use me to encourage others, and to just recognize His presence in every detail of each day.

So, while there have been so many crazy things in my life this past year, which I have only shared a portion and many crazy things in the world during 2020, I encourage you to reflect back and be grateful for each day. During the days that there are trials, remember there is always a treasure to be had. Some days may be more of a challenge to see the treasure, but it’s there. Remember the Lord is always working, even when we don’t understand things and He is a good Father, So during trials I like to ask myself, “Lord what am I supposed to learn, what are You trying to teach me and thank you that You love me and want to grow me.” Now that 2020 is behind us and 2021 is here, my prayer is that we will see the good, learn from the bad, be conduits of God’s love, be grateful and be blessed as we bless others. Amen